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How to tell your friend you can't be their bridesmaid

Say it in person if you can. If it has to be text, lead with love, name the reason once, don't over-apologize.

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Three ways to say it

Scenario 1
The finances aren't there
What you'd type

hey love, this is really really hard to write and i've been sitting with it for a while, but i don't think i can be a bridesmaid, the financial commitment is more than i can do right now, i love you and i am so sorry

LessBot
What to send

This kills me to say — I can't be a bridesmaid. The financial piece isn't doable. I love you and I want to be there in every other way.

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Scenario 2
You have a life event that overlaps
What you'd type

you are one of my best friends and i want to be there for you always, but the timing is falling right on top of [event] and i just don't think i can commit to the role and be present for you

LessBot
What to send

I want to be there. But the timing conflicts with [event]. I can't do the role justice — please still let me be at the wedding.

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Scenario 3
You're stepping back from the role but not the wedding
What you'd type

i've been thinking a lot and i don't think being a bridesmaid is right for me but i want to be there as your friend, is there a way for me to be at the wedding without being in the wedding?

LessBot
What to send

Being in the wedding isn't right for me — being at the wedding really is. Can we do that?

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