How to set a boundary with your parents over text
You don't need to justify a boundary. Naming it clearly is the whole conversation. Over-explaining invites debate.
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Three ways to say it
“mom i love you but every time we talk about this it becomes a fight and i can't do this right now, i need you to trust me even if you don't agree with what i'm doing”
I love you but I can't talk about this anymore. Please trust me on it.
“hi mom!! we love that you want to see the kids but we really need you to check with us before coming over, saturdays are just really packed and it stresses us out”
Please text before coming by. Weekends get full fast.
“hey mom, i know christmas is important and i want to be there but this year is really hard financially and i just can't make the trip, i'm sorry”
Can't make it home for Christmas this year. I'll call.